why does it hurt?

Saturday me and my boyfriend broke up and it was because of all the fighting and controlling stuff that was going on. After three tries and fails, it went down for real. Why does it hurt when we where fighting almost every day? Why do i cry when It is better of this way? How do you stop this feelings coming back at you, that makes you think about sleeping close to someone? Is there something that can make you feel less empty inside, I feel sick, I feel so down.. No one is near to cheer me up, I could really use a nice friendly hug. But everyone is just to far away. Alone I have to fight my way back. Do I miss the caring and the fun, sleeping together and kiss and hug? Is that the only thing I miss? Or is it only because it was him? I can bearly eat or sleep, dream are haunting me, what can i do to forget? So i can grow strong again? So many questions and no one has the anwsers? Where do I belong? Where are my friends? When I am deep down below?
Who supports me and helps me get over it?

 

Why can't it be easy as Jason Derulo said: 

"I just wanna let you know that it gets better! You can decide you'r own destiny, you can overcome any pain with you'r own permission, you can be happy with you'r own permission!  It gets Better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...."

<3 

summertime

I just love to watch the trees and the flowers as they grow faster then ever, they pop up everywhere and my heart gets filled with joy. I smile to my self as I am power walking in the neighborhood, and people look and wondering why i smile I think. Must look silly but I am so happy when spring starts and summer is about to blossom. Soon my birthday is coming up and I hope that I get some cash to a working mobile phone!! Cuz mine is about to give up completely! Well atleast I have uploaded my photos of the place I moved to as promissed<3

My place

moving friday!!

Im really excited! I will take photos and upload here so you can see the stuff I bought for the apartment. It is gonna look fabulouse when I am all done with it..<3<<33

Im so happy

I am moving next week, went to IKEA yesterday and got almost everything I needed for the apartment. It is going to be so fabulous when I am done with everything! I have a color theme for the whole place. You will get a taste when everything is done, but for now you just have to wait it out. I have been so busy that I forgot to write everything down, but here I am writing to let you know what I have been up too.

My boyfriend is going to move in and I'm so excited, I feel like I am going to explode with joy. Shouting it out on facebook and every other sites that I have. I am also going to get better at taking photos for my Dailybooth.com witch I haven't been uploading a picture or text on since.. I DONT KNOW. Thats bad.
So I am sorry for that.

Now I just hope that I get my mobile internet going so I can blog on my laptop at my new place.

And have you noticed? Spring is coming so fast, I feel the sun kiss my skin and I can't do anything but smile! A big white silly smile. People probably think I am crazy for smiling all the time but you have to feel it. Spring and Summer makes you happy, no cold or frustrating snow!! I hate snow! Next winter I will flee the country from the cold! To a nice warm place :D

<3

Spring is coming

I can feel it, when I standing there waiting for the buss to arrive, it burns my cheek. I have longed for the spring to enter this year! I really want some heat, and I want real heat, hot hot hot! I just had to take a picture of all the ducks that where crossing over the road, in a straight line. Well seems like the summer is going to start great and become great, I really hope so.... well see about that..

Eurovision

Melodifestivalen

It is very close between Eric Saade, Danny and the bitch Sanna. I really hope for Swingfly, Danny or Eric Saade! They are too good to not be going to eurovision! The passion Eric Saade lays on the stage! Horrible to get glass in the mouth one practice and then glass in the eyes this time! Poor him, but I love his addiction to the performance on stage! He need to do everything extra ordinary! <3

Well I hope they go to the top and Sanna can burn in hell, shit SONG :P

Comon Swingfly, Danny and Eric Saade :)
I have also seen Eric live from close :D

Hi everyone!

Well I have been very busy, planing everything for the apartment that I am moving to very very soon. Cant wait seriously! I am going nuts here! I have also been working on my tan, I hate to be the spooky girl with white skin. Its getting quite brown, me like it very much. Also i have been watching a lot of episodes of Vampire diaries, I cant wait until the 17th episode comes out the 7th of April in Sweden! We are so later then the U.S and I don't like that! I get itchy and go insane when it comes to this long breaks in the season! Anyway I have been doing quite much this month, and I am going to tell you all about the apartment later on.

Have a nice day! Wish you the best!

Out of my system

I need to get it out of my system, because it is eating me up inside right now.

You don't defend me against them, you don't stand up?
If you make the call to stay there because someone you know doesn't want you to move?
You are not going to live together with your parents or relatives for ever!
You are going to live with the one you love, and if you can't choose love when you are an adult,
and you choose your mommy, you can't grow up and you can't live your own life.
If you can't do that your love, for your partner is just a secondhand deal..

If you won't move, If you won't live your life and if love isn't working, and you  won't stand up and defend each other. You should stay living with your mommy for the rest of your life, and NEVER get a WIFE...

No girlfriend, no family, NOTHING

No life

Movie time!

It's kind of  funny story


Is a kind of cool movie about a guy that thinks he is suicidal, and he makes a mistake by going to the doctor and won't take no for an answer. The doctor want's to send him home with no treatment and the guy argues until the doctor sends him to the hospitals mental hospital group home. He meets a girl that's also suicidal and a bunch of guys that becomes his friends, and he realize that the friends he had on the outside where not his friends at all. I really like this movie, it has a message.
He seems more relaxed and hi is having more fun at the institutional then he had on the outside. The girl that also are suicidal are also a teenager but the other guys at the home are much much older! I hope he forgets that stupid girl that was dating his "best friend" and hooks up with the girl inside. She is so much cuter and she does not snitch on him or judge his condition. Now he is in a bad position he said he loved that girl from school when she came to visit and she started to call him a freak and everything just because he by accident threw up and yelled at her "I love you" and Noel (the girl that's also suicidal) heard and it hurt her bad. She does not talk to him and he starts to paint a picture for her and slides it in under her door and she look's really found of it. The boy is on a meeting with the doctor later and I think she is going to let him go home soon, she looks at his paintings and they talk, and its his last night on the hospital. He goes home tomorrow. Wonder what Noel would say now, she will be devastated. They talk in the hallway and he describes his feelings for her. That the feelings for the other girl was shallow. They are so cute. He say "i wanna play doctor with you" and they dress as doctors and runs out from the hospital together. Later on the roof he ask what music she likes and then he ask's her out in a really cool smooth way. But she goes first! *Laugh* They are really cute! And this is a very awesome movie.

You should watch it <3

5/5 stars!

Glasses?

Yes, after 21 years of hard work my eyes need help :P *haha*

I have an appointment with Synsam for an eye exam as at 9.30 am on Monday. I hope i will find some hot glasses, don't want that "old lady look" searching for the "sexy teacher business Woman look" and I hope I find some glasses to fix that look. I have seen like everywhere and heard that it has become some kind of fashion to wear glasses. So I am not sad to get a pair, it is more fun :) I'm going to look totally hot in them! xD

Playlist February 2011

I love music and can not live without it, music heals me and if i am sad it helps me through it, sometimes even makes me smile or cry. Music is the way of life! (not in top order, just lined up the songs random) <3

1. Alexandra Burke - All Night Long
2. Akon Ft Flo Rida -Who's That Girl
3. Avril Lavigne -  What The Hell 
4. BACK-ON  feat.mini - ONE STEP
5. Flo Rida - Respirator
6. Pleasure P - She Dance
7. Pleasure P - U Gon Let Me 
8. R. Kelly - Doin Dishes 
9. London  Without Her
10. David Guetta - I Found Love (summer hit 2011)
11. Alexandra Burke - Start Without You
12. The Saturdays - Higher
13. The Saturdays - Up
14. Claude Kelly - Love You To Death

More coming very soon, searching music almost everyday, Music is my life <3

Enjoy! 

Good evening buddies!

Now my cat is running around and checking everything in the house out, very carefully when he comes outside of my room. When he gets outside my room and something sounds loud or some door closes he runs back into my room again and lies under my bed for a while, then he comes back out again. But I must say he is getting more confident by every hour and feels more comfortable around me and my boyfriend. More cuddle and he plays a little bit now and then. Anyways he is adorable!

I have met my fathers girlfriend and she seems to be okay. Jimmy and I made dinner and then she asked if she could take a little bit more, and after she said thank you for the great dinner. There is nothing wrong with her what I can see. We sat in the living room and listened to music on our Viasat boxer and later we started a movie and watched it and laughed together all four of us, and it was fun actually.

Tomorrow my boyfriend is travelling home to fix the last things before he moves here. We get a decision about the apartment next week, she said something between Wednesday and Thursday we would get an answer. I am so excited and can't wait to move so I hope she won't give us RED LIGHT! That would be so sad! I wanna live together with my love. And I really hope that he will succeed with his stop smoking thing, because its making it hard for me to stay away from it. I haven't had a smoke since NEW YEARS EVE! I am really proud, I must say. 
I just need everyone around me to stop smoking while I am present xD  

I got A Cat

I love my Kitty

(Zimba <3 )

Well work is going great and my life is speeding, Soon the apartment is ours and we can move in and I hope it'll be very soon. Need my own space and my own life, so I can be happy. I am longing till the day she  calls and wants to hand over the keys. Now I am in my room and pet my Cat Zimba is his name. Like in the Lion King movie from Disney. I am waiting for him to settle here in my room and get more confidence to run around and not be so careful about everything he do.
Soon my dad's new girlfriend comes to have dinner and I am a little curious about her I must say, he has been acting strange since he met her, he makes dinner more often and he comes in to my room with cookies and everything, I'm in chock that is why I have to meet this Lady of his!

Well wish me luck :P

This is on Swedish

Säljer mina smycken jag tillverkar hemma!

50kr stycket, helt egen design, kolla bilder nedan!!!

Maila mig! Eller skicka medelande på Facebook :)  om ni är intresserade av ett av armbanden, Jag skickar då konto nummer som ni sätter in pengarna på så Postar jag armbandet samma dag!

Mvh Emelie!

I make bracelets

I sold my first bracelet today, my bigger sister bought it, and my mom said it was beautiful. Today I have a terrible headache, feels like my brain is gonna explode, I can't see clearly and it's pissing me off. I need my boyfriend here now and he can't come until tomorrow with a little luck! Anyways we have started to get this thing with an apartment going, so soon enough we will move in together and live a life together. No body can break that.

I really need something to do now, but I can't come up with anything because of my headache.....

Ipod Touch

I have searched online for someone thats selling an Apple I Pod for a nice price, and I found a guy that gave me a really sweet deal, and I got a track package code for free so I can see where the I pod is all time and know when its coming to me. He is sending it tomorrow morning and I guess I have it by Tuesday/ Wednesday. Can't wait, need it so bad. Hate it when my mobile battery doesn't last long enough because of camera, music, apps, texts and calls all day long. The battery sucks and that is why I searched for an I pod to listen to music and play on while I traveling and get bored. Really nice!

I hope the days goes fast!!!

Im tired

So tired right now, I couldn't sleep at all, I woke up every five minutes. Stupid idiots yesterday thought they could fool my babe! Well anyways we are moving together very soon and there's nothing they can do about it, and now I change my password once a week, or more. They haven't tried since they got logged out after their fail to make him believe them. Soon he comes back up here after celebrating his B-day together with his mum and her boyfriend, then he doesn't have to go back that often.
Now I have to search for some apartments and nag to the woman I talked to about the apartment in Alstermo, she is so slow!

Hacked

Somebody is trying to be me, on my older mail. Sending loads of shit messages to my boyfriend, saying he has cheated and that I break up with him? 
Who is this retarded person? I'm glad we don't believe in this stupid freak that seems to have mayor problems! Really sick!
I hope this fucker gets a life, instead of breaking things for those who are happy, and has a life....


Sick people :S 

Tangled 3D

Yesterday me, my boyfriend and my little sister went to the movies and watched TANGLED 3D. Well my sister didn't know until we where outside the building and I handed her the tickets and she screamed so loud that everyone outside was starring at us. She ran in and she got the candy she wanted for the movie and then we went to McDonald's to eat. Then we went to the cinema. 


The movie started and my boyfriend has NEVER seen 3D movies before. A butterfly coming from nowhere flew straight into the screen, and he reacted! Couldn't help that I laughed at him. It was a great experience for him, and he want's to see more 3D movies soon but HORROR movies. *laugh*


The movie was great, we laughed at the horse and the guy that falls in love with Rapunzel. The story was great, really cute and funny. I recommend this movie, you have to see it. Best, funniest animated movie for a long time! 


And now  my baby has traveled home :( I miss him and I don't want him to call that place home anymore. Hope they call me about the apartment soon, we really need it. Want him to be home with me :) <3




ONE YEAR AND MORE TO COME <3